Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir

As writers, words are what we do.
We weave the written language into a tapestry of intrigue, mystery, and (if you're anything like me) humor.
There are very few times in my life where I couldn't express how I felt about something with words...or at least to the degree it merited. The first time was when I tried writing a few words to read to my husband at our wedding reception. Trying to tell the man you love just how much you love him, while including all the nuances, inside jokes, isolated moments, tender embraces, sotto voces, in a few little words seemed an impossible task. I fumbled something out, but it will never entirely cover all the bases of my love for him. Which is why I affectionately inscribed, "Words Can't Describe" on the inside of his wedding ring. Seemed fitting. And it's high praise to stump a writer with a concept that can't fully be developed in writing.

The second time this happened was when I read Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir. Now, I'm not catagorizing my love for Jennette Fulda's book as the same love as I have for Cole, but I heart it. A lot. (See how simplisitic I get when I can't think of the words?)

Below are some of my favorite lines from the book. (PS I'm reading it on my Kindle, however, and the page numbers are not reflected on my digital pages.)

  • "Ever the overachiever, I gained the freshman fifty."
  • "You are almost never as fat as you think you are. If I could teach the fat girls of the world one thing, that would be it."
  • After a life-threatening surgery, Fulda decided to get thin. Then, "Only I didn't. I stayed fat for at least another year. Wake-up call recieved. Snooze button pushed."
  • "It was supposed to shock me into realizing I was consuming the gross national product of Ecuador daily. Mostly it made me crazy trying to remember if I'd had a soda with lunch."
  • "I hoped I wouldn't find myself holding up the local Krispy Kreme in a sugar-crash psychosis, wielding a grapefruit spoon like a shiv."
  • "My gynecologist had told me I had a pelvis, but I thought she was just starting a rumor."
  • "After taking a blood pressure test in a pharmacy, "The display read: 122/71. Woo-hoo! I wanted to take a victory lap around the feminine hygiene aisle, throwing tampons in the air like confetti."
  • "She must not want that fine culinary creation, I thought. She got a different piece of cake instead. It would be a shame to waste a piece of cake. It would make baby Jesus cry. For purely religous reasons, I leapt up, snatched the plate, devoured the cake, and shoved the empty plate onto my uncle's place setting. Fat girls first rule of stealing food: Always get rid of the evidence. Second rule: If necessary, frame someone else."
  • "My weight loss was a cross-country trip, not a race across town."
  • "...a wall of casseroles and baked goods lined the counter like the Great Wall of Carbohydrates."
I'm only half way through Half-Assed, and I feel like Jennette is a kindred spirit. [Wanna be BFF's Jennette? I won't ever tempt you into stealing cake at weddings, and I won't judge you if you do.]
I heart this book. 
Words can't describe how much.
It's my "thinspiration".

Plus it inspired me on my next writing project. (My first book is a YA novel called One-Armed Freak and is available at Amazon for Kindles only.) I'm gonna do a weight loss book too. Granted my 60 lbs is nothing in comparison to Jennette's feats in Weight Loss World, but my journey could inspire someone too.
Check out my weight loss blog: www.theredbookexperiment.blogspot.com 
or Check out my main blog at: www.prose-spective.blogspot.com

I can't wait to finish it. 
May the flax seed be with you, Jennette.
Drink water and prosper.

--Rena Lesue-Smithey
One-Armed Freak


S. Connell Vondrak said...

It sounds like a fun book. We live in a culture has a love-hate relationship with food. We invented terms like supersized and “do you want fries with that” but have more people on diets than anyone else in the world. It is nice the writer can carry humor with her down a long and hard road.

Rena said...

That she does. She also has another book called Chocolate and Vicodin, which I haven't read yet, but I bet it has the same humorous voice.

Hot gossip said...

Great share of tips to lose weight. Thanks.

Kehkshan MAnzoor said...

It is nice the writer can carry humor with her down a long and hard road.
Fruta Planta

Dreambox Remote said...

This was a quick read! I was impressed by the successes of the author's weight loss, nutrition and exercise. It 'really amazing, the extraordinary effort, no doubt about it. I do not fully understand because they do not wake up some details of the trip, as he chose a meal plan. He does not share much of what we eat not only the different types of fruits and vegetables, look for him.

Atif said...

Losing weight is not only good for having an attractive figure but it is also good for your health.

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