Sunday, July 21, 2013

Popsicle Syndrome - a common malady

Popsicle-stick bridge courtesy of
 http://diyfamily.wordpress.com

It’s not easy being a smart ass. There are days when it’s as simple as falling off a paddleboard. Plop. Yup, straight into the drink. Right side up, upside down. It makes no difference. You’re in the same place and just as wet no matter which end took the plunge first.
Then there are those days when the retorts and barbs don’t come easily. We’ve all done it, two hours after being under the gun, I’ll start talking to the walls. The perfect comeback, something that would have turned the tables or had everyone complimenting me on my brilliant wit, pops into my head. But, in my moment on need? Just when I needed my inner wise guy the most, I probably stood around like a melting popsicle.
And there it is, maybe I suffer from Popsicle Syndrome. Don’t scoff, you might have it, too. Let’s take a look at what popsicles and people have in common. Do both have a skeleton? Check. Granted, the popsicle’s skeleton is just a stick, but what a stick! Popsicle sticks have been used to make replicas of everything from trucks to hotels to roller coasters. Martha Stewart showed us how to make a popsicle-stick house and the American Society of Civil Engineers conducts an annual Popsicle Stick Bridge Competition. And just to put this in perspective, when’s the last time you saw someone other than a maniacal serial killer in a B-movie build a bridge out of bones? 
There’s also the sweetness factor. Check. He’s sweet. She’s a sweetheart. I’m sweet on you. But, people can also be a sourpuss, demonstrate a sour-grapes attitude, or sour a relationship. Did a popsicle ever do that? Of course not, a popsicle is always sweet.
I’ll grant you that people do have the advantage when it comes to the whole melting thing. When we have a meltdown, we hold our shape because the “melting” is metaphorical. But, when a popsicle goes, it’s just plain messy. And once the messy puddle starts to dry, it gets sticky. That does, however, bring up another issue. When one person melts over another, there usually is a sticky part in the relationship. The good news is that the popsicle mess can be cleaned up with a sponge and some soap and water—the people mess usually involves lawyers and lots of money. But, that’s a whole different post.
Do you suffer from Popsicle Syndrome? Or do you have another name for it? Can you summon those super-smart comebacks on command or does it take a little time to think them up? 

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